what up guys! i haven't been here for a long time, life has been hectic right now.
i am starting to lose friends, both my choice and theirs. one close female friend that i have had a boyfriend now and new friends, we havent talk in a while which never happened before. if she wants to distance herself from me, i respect that. it's not like this is all new to me, this happens all the time to all of my (straight) female friends.
again, losing friends is not new to me, however it does hurt a lot than break-ups. i also wanted to bring up how i am always the punching bag of jokes whenever i have a circle of friends, am i that easily to target? if so, id rather be alone than to deal with people like that, i want people to take me seriously. i am fed up with people looking down to me, life is already hard enough and i do not want this crap.
on the bright side, all of these experiences gave me time to reflect on myself, which i did not know that i needed it badly. i was so oblivious of my well-being that i am destroying myself. pretty dramatic but yeah it is what it is.
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