bad night

Tuesday, April 28, 2026

 Ahhhh, went jogging for the first time in months and it was one of the worse nights LOL. There were a lot of people and I hate it because it triggers my social anxiety and for some odd reason, it makes me insecure.

Despite that, it was going well BUT.... the insoles of my shoes started to detached, it was so embarrassing I have to walk barefoot all the way to my house. 

AI in local pageant

Thursday, April 23, 2026

it infuriates me to see the use of ai in creative spaces. while i am indifferent toward people using ai in general, i am completely against it when it comes to creativity. 

i was at a pageant talent night last night, and almost all the candidates used ai-generated images --  or worse, ai-generated songs. it felt so dystopian to me for some reason.

there is something eerie about a live human performer standing in front of a screen filled with ai art. it creates a disconnect -- you have a real person seeking a real title, but their "creative" output is essentially a deepfake. t makes the whole event feel like a simulation rather than a competition

spontaneous night out

Sunday, April 19, 2026

 this was completely unplanned, i fully expected to be indoors the whole 24 hours. however, i decided to shower and change clothes at 5pm because my brother said there was a singing contest near my place, and i really wanted to check it out. i also saw my cousin, and so we went.

i am kinda amazed with what they did with the park, finally some good use of our money. surprisingly, a lot of people as well. 

my cousin bought milk teas and takoyakis (i only ate the takoyaki) and we stroll around the park. we got bored and went to my other cousin's house, there was a birthday dinner and i ate a lot. after that, we walked around poblacion, medellin, from the park to the fair and to the complex, where there was a live band and disco. 

i didnt have caffeine, so i bought an energy drink. few hours later, i was drinking beer. i realised that energy drinks and beer dont mix well in your system, so i felt like dying. 

also, this blog posts might sound disorganised, its either because im drunk or the beer and energy drink mixture is not sitting well in me. god, i might start jogging next week and change my lifestyle. thats all and take care guys

 

invisible and undervalued

Friday, April 17, 2026

 two posts in a day lol, gotta make up for those days that i was gone and felt like giving up. anw,,,,

i live in a very unfortunate life in the context of beauty standards. let me explain. first of all, i am short and short guys always get the end of the stick. i dont know anyone who wants to date short guys. if short guys get mad, we immediately have 'napoleon complex', which is just unfair. im sorry world for not being 6ft.

next, i do not fit usual beauty standard for men, which is having eurocentric features. i dont have those pointed nose (or whatever they call that), fair complexion, a strong, defined jawline, light-colored eyes, and athletic build -- though i think any guy can get that type of body if they want to. it's so frustrating that in my whole family. im the only one who looks east asian. i hate it.

i know you guys are thinking "geez, this guy sounds so insufferable" and yes i am but sometimes voicing these out helps me with my personal problems. i am trying to be better each day despite being a dickhead sometimes. baby steps count.
cya1!!!

repeatedly stuck

these past few months, i have found myself being stuck. whenever i try to change my ways and my lifestyle, i will just go back to my bad habits. like a cycle that will never end. i just wish and hope that this will pass someday but i dont do anything to change that. in fact, i am not motivated nor willing to change it. 

i wish this feeling has a name but sadly, i do not know its name. there are times i eat, there are times i dont. there are times i shower, there are times i dont. there are times i exercise, there are times i dont. it's an endless cycle like i said earlier.

oh i wish and hope that this will end even though it seems it may not end.